I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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