It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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