Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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