I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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