Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
