He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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