Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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