Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
