Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
