my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
