look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Randomize
