i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
