Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
