remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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