He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
