I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
