I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
