It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
