i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
