Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Randomize
