sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
