im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
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