im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
