Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize