My hair reeks of homosexuality.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
