the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
