ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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