census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
