I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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