I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
