White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
