Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
