It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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