ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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