Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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