My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Idk if I want to put a bra on
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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