I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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