Umm I'm too high to move.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
