A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
