Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Randomize