Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
