I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
whose parrot is this?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
