i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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