I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
