Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
