its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
