I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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