Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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