so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
