I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
