So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
