Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Randomize
