with your own penis?
I hate all girls vehemently.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
