She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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