butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
