I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
