I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
